Those seeking to receive the Anointing of the Sick should contact the Parish Office by calling 734-428-8811..

Please contact Fr Bosco as soon as possible to begin arrangements for Baptism Preparation and to schedule the baptism of your baby or child. Phone 734-428-8811.

Please contact Fr. Gerald Gawronski at the St Mary Parish Office (734-428-8811) as soon as you and your fiancé/fiancée make the commitment to marriage. Then the happy planning may begin!

When a Roman Catholic is thinking about marriage the very first thing that they should do is to call their pastor to arrange a meeting with him. This should be done before any arrangements are made to reserve a place for the wedding reception.

This initial meeting between the priest and the couple determines the freedom of the couple to enter into marriage. The priest asks certain questions of the couple to make sure that there were no prior marriages or prior commitments that would not allow them to freely enter into marriage. He also makes sure that the couple understands that marriage is a permanent commitment ending only with death. The priest also makes sure that the couple is open to children in their marriage. 

After this initial interview the priest then explains the process of immediate preparation for marriage in the Lord. The following are important questions that pertain to marriage preparation in the Roman Catholic Church in the State of Michigan. 

How long is the period of Marriage Preparation? 
The Bishops of the Michigan Province have determined a period of at least nine months to prepare couples for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. But, as soon as a couple becomes engaged they should contact their parish priest. No dates for marriage can be given over the telephone. They can only be set after the initial interview. 

I am thinking about marrying a person from another faith or an unbaptized person, and they have been married before. Do they need to seek a Declaration of Nullity (annulment) from their marriage before they can marry a Catholic? 
Yes. The Roman Catholic Church views all marriages in the same fashion. We believe that God intends all people who enter into marriage to be in a permanent commitment. When a marriage ends, in order to be free to enter into marriage again they must seek an annulment. Because the Protestant Church does not have a process for the annulment of their marriages, it usually only  affects a Protestant when they want to marry a Roman Catholic. 

Why does the Roman Catholic Church make couples go through nine months of marriage preparation? 
The Roman Catholic Church views marriage as a Sacrament and a Vocation. The Church views marriage as so very important that she wants to do everything that she can to ensure that couples entering into marriage in the Lord understand the commitments and obligations involved in marriage and are provided with a good foundation upon which to build. Marriage preparation in the Roman Catholic Church is an investment in the couple and the future of the Church. 

My fiancé and I are currently living together; is it true that the Catholic Church will not marry us? 
This question cannot be answered by a simple yes or no. The Catholic views sexual intimacy outside of marriage as a violation of God’s plan for our sexuality. It is considered a grave sin. The Roman Catholic Church is extremely concerned that couples both preparing for marriage and living out the commitment of marriage, understand the truth and mystery of God’s plan for marriage and family life. The Church believes that sexual intimacy is meant to be a profound expression, in the flesh, of the permanent bond created between a husband and wife on their wedding day. In reality, every time that a married couple has sexual intimacy it is meant to be a reaffirmation of their marriage vows. A couple living together outside of marriage have not made such a commitment to each other. Therefore, their sexual intimacy is not a reflection of a total giving of self to the other, but rather an act of mutual self-gratification. 

Couples living together before marriage, or who are sexually active prior to marriage, are headed for many, many problems. The divorce rate among couples who cohabitate prior to marriage is about 85%. This is a shocking statistic! So when a couple, in this position, comes to their local parish asking for marriage in the Roman Catholic Church, their pastor is extremely concerned for the future of a relationship that has a high probability of failure. This pastor, who is called to be a ‘good shepherd’ to his flock, will probably not deny marriage to the couple, unless there is an impediment. But, he will try to get the couple to live chastely and separately as a part of their marriage preparation warning them of the moral and spiritual dangers that come with cohabitation. 

I would like to have my wedding ceremony in a garden or in the local gazebo. Does the Church allow us to have our ceremony outside of a church building? 
No. The Seven Sacraments are public sacred actions of the Church. They are to be celebrated in the church building which is a sacred structure consecrated for such purposes. The church building plays a significant role in the life of each member of a particular parish. The church building is the dwelling place of God. In the church, the Risen Christ dwells in the Sacrament of the Altar; it is the place where the Bridegroom, Christ, offers Himself daily in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and in the Tabernacle, to His Bride the Church. The couple is invited to imitate Him in their marriage. 

My fiancé is a Protestant. She would like for our wedding to be held in her church. Can I, as a Catholic be married in a Protestant church? 
Yes, with qualifications. A Roman Catholic may be married in a Protestant church by a Protestant Minister provided a special dispensation is obtained from the Bishop. The couple must also agree to do all the marriage preparation required by the Catholic Church. The Catholic party may have their priest present for the ceremony, but is not necessary provided the above has been completed. 

Is it true that if a Catholic marries someone of another faith or no faith at all, they must agree to raise their children in the Catholic Faith? 
Yes. In order for a Roman Catholic to marry someone of another faith or an unbaptized person, his or her priest must obtain a dispensation from the Bishop. The Catholic, at that time, signs the application for the dispensation agreeing to do the best they can to have any children they might have baptized and raised as Catholics. This is obviously something that requires a great deal of discussion between the Catholic and non-Catholic. 

CONCLUSION
Marriage preparation should be understood as being in two stages: long-term marriage preparation and proximate marriage preparation.

• The nine-month period of marriage preparation, required by the Roman Catholic Bishops of the Michigan Province, is to be considered as proximate, immediately preceding the marriage.
• The most important part of marriage preparation is the religious and moral formation received in the home when growing up.

The attitudes towards marriage that an engaged couple brings to the priest when it comes time for their proximate marriage preparation have been shaped over a period of many years. This formation can be for good or for bad. In the eleven years that I have been a priest, I can sadly report that the majority of Roman Catholics who request marriage in the Church are lacking in knowledge of the basic fundamental teachings of the Faith. In many cases, I have found myself doing basic religious education with couples that I am supposed be focusing in on the spiritual preparation for entrance into the lifelong Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. 

In my experience, the vast majority of Roman Catholics asking for marriage in the Church have been sadly shaped and mis-formed by the attitudes and immorality of the secular world. They bring to marriage many, many unchristian attitudes and practices that threaten the sanctity of marriage before it even begins. And even more sadly is the fact the many engaged couples do not even know that they have been negatively influenced by the secular world. 

Another serious challenge to marriage preparation is when a Roman Catholic, who him or herself is lacking in basic knowledge of the Catholic Faith, desires to enter into marriage with someone of another faith or an unbaptized person. How can the Roman Catholic party, who promises to pass on the Catholic faith to their children, do so if they are completely ignorant of it? 

As I bring this important series on preparation for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony to a conclusion, I invite the parents of St. Mary Parish to realize how awesome and vital a role that they play in the formation of their children both morally and spiritually by preparing them in the home for the vocation that God is calling them into. 

I encourage and invite parents to do the following things to help their children.

• Nourish the relationship between you as husband and wife.
• Attend Mass with your family every Sunday and Holy Day.
• Pray together as a family in the home.
• Teach your children about the gift and mystery of their sexuality and the need to live a life of chastity.
• Be generous in the amount of children that you have.
• When appropriate, warn your children of the harmful moral and spiritual effects of sexual activity outside of marriage and the use of artificial contraception.
• Make sure that your children know the fundamentals of the Roman Catholic Faith.
• Take your children to the Sacrament of Penance on a monthly basis.
• Pray for your child’s vocation and teach your children to pray also to have their vocation revealed to them.

We have a serious crisis on our hands regarding the state of marriage in the United States and in the Church. The divorce rate is nearing the 60% mark. Roman Catholics are right up there with the general culture in these grim statistics. We must face this grave problem head on and work as a team; clergy and parents, to begin to pull our children out of the clutches of the world and bring them into the safe and loving embrace of our Mother and Teacher: Holy Mother Church. 

THE SACRAMENT OF HOLY MATRIMONY It is the belief of the Church that when two Christians marry, something distinctive happens. The man and woman, who commit themselves to a life long covenant of love, celebrate a Sacrament. A Sacrament is a sign of God’s love touching our lives. Your marriage is the revealing of God’s love in a powerful way. Your love is made holy in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and it becomes the mirror of God’s everlasting love for the world.

Thus, the celebration of your marriage is not just “your day.” It is our day, too, as the St. Mary Community celebrates with you. The People of God gather to witness the exchange of vows and to express their support for you. As you make your promises to one another, we are reminded of God’s promise of love for us. As you say “I will love and honor you all the days of my life,” we call to mind the covenant that God made with us. God will never forget nor abandon us. You promise – God promises – we promise – together.

Thus, your wedding is more than a private contract or a public exchange of promises. It is also an act of worship in which you promise your love to each other and receive promises of support from family, friends and the whole church (represented by your guests and the celebrant). Your guests come not just to watch but to pray, sing, celebrate, support, and encourage you.

MARRIAGE PREPARATION
In order to adequately prepare for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony you will be asked to:

1. Contact the parish office as soon as you announce your engagement. The nine-month preparation time is the minimal amount of time required by the Roman Catholic Bishops of Michigan. You may reach the parish priest at the rectory office at 210 West Main Street, Manchester, Michigan or by phone at 734-428-8811.
   
2. Meet with the priest for an interview. The initial meeting will establish the freedom to marry. At this point, a tentative marriage date and time will be set, provided that the couple follows through with the entire marriage preparation process.
   
3. Attend Holy Mass every Sunday and make frequent use of the Sacrament of Penance. (Once a month is suggested for the sacramental confession of sins.)
   
4. Listen to the audiotape “Contraception, Why Not?” Complete the questionnaire and return it to the priest as soon as possible.
   
5. Watch the video tape on Natural Family Planning with the priest. He will explain the importance of the Roman Catholic Church’s teachings on Marriage and Family Life.
   
6. Attend all four (4) Natural Family Planning classes. You will receive a listing of classes offered in the area and will need to call in advance to make a reservation. There will be a fee* for the classes. Return the form to the priest when classes are completed.
   
7. Meet with a married couple from the parish. The married couple will contact you and make arrangements to meet and take the FOCCUS (a communication inventory tool). These sessions vary in number and are held to discuss the results of your communication graph. Plan on at least four (4) sessions.
   
8. Attend the WE C.A.R.E. program required by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Lansing. You will receive a brochure and be asked to make arrangements to attend the two (2) sessions. There will be a fee* for the sessions.
   
9. Read the book Marriage Is Love Forever. This book will be yours to keep and used as a foundation for your understanding of marriage in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church.
   
10. If either of you, whether you are Roman Catholic or not, has been previously married, please note: Before marriage preparation can begin a Declaration of Nullity needs to be sought. Annulments are not automatic! And, if granted, this will establish the freedom to marry. Please discuss this matter with the priest.
    
    * If you are unable to afford the fees required for the N.F.P. and WE C.A.R.E. classes, arrangements can be made with the priest preparing you for Holy Matrimony.

DOCUMENTS

1. Both parties must present a recent copy of their baptismal certificate, dated within six (6) months. This is done by a request to the church of your baptism.
2. Your marriage license can be obtained from the County Clerk’s office of your county of residence no sooner than thirty (30) days before the actual ceremony. If you have any questions concerning your marriage license, you may call the County Clerk’s office. You must bring your license to the Parish Office one (1) week prior to the ceremony.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Scheduling: Weddings are scheduled on Saturdays at 1:00 p.m. Weddings may also be scheduled on Friday evenings. Weddings are not held on Sundays, Holy Days of Obligation, or during Lent. Rehearsals are usually scheduled for 6:00 or 6:30 p.m. the evening prior to the ceremony.

Place of Wedding: Normally the wedding ceremony of a St. Mary parishioner takes place in their parish church. However, the wedding may take place in the church of a non-Catholic party, with or without a priest/deacon present. This requires a dispensation from the Bishop at the Diocesan Curia Office, which may be obtained with the assistance of the priest. Weddings may not take place outside of a church setting.

Forms of the Nuptial Liturgy: Marriage of two baptized Roman Catholics normally takes place during the celebration of Holy Mass. The marriage between a Catholic and a baptized member of another faith or a non-baptized person will be celebrated outside the Mass. If the marriage takes place within a Nuptial Mass, care should be given to explain the reception of the Sacrament. Since the Holy Eucharist is a privilege of membership and the highest expression of Roman Catholic unity, those of other faiths may not receive Holy Communion.

Planning the Nuptial Liturgy: The priest will supply you with a book (Marriage is Love Forever) to help you plan your Liturgy. Please take an ample amount of time to read the Scripture selections together before you make your decisions.

Priests and Deacons: Normally the priest celebrating your wedding will be from St. Mary Church. If you have a family member or a friend who is a priest or deacon, they are most welcome to either celebrate or con-celebrate the Nuptial Liturgy. They must contact the pastor. The Roman Catholic Church allows deacons to witness marriages, but they are unable to celebrate the Holy Eucharist.

Other Ministries: Besides selecting the wedding party, care should be taken to select others who will exercise liturgical ministries within the Nuptial Liturgy. These would include Readers, Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, Altar Servers, and Musicians.

Music and Musicians: The music selected for the Nuptial Liturgy must reflect the Roman Catholic Christian character of the service. Thus, secular or popular music is inappropriate at any time to be played in the church building. If there is a piece of music of which you are uncertain if it is appropriate, please consult with the music director or the pastor. The music director will meet with you to plan the music for your Nuptial Liturgy.

As a public service of the Roman Catholic Church, the Diocese of Lansing has specific guidelines as to appropriate music for the Rite of Marriage which you will need to take into consideration when planning your selections. Please schedule a meeting well in advance of your wedding date to allow a comfortable time for selection, procurement of music and musicians, and preparation. An initial meeting six months prior to the date of your wedding is strongly suggested. The music director will be the principal musicians for your Nuptial Liturgy, providing organ and piano music, cantoring and appropriate vocal music. Guest musicians are welcome to participate in your Nuptial Liturgy with the permission and under the supervision of the music director.

The Nuptial Liturgy is a public act of Roman Catholic worship. The use of liturgical worship programs is strongly encouraged in order to draw the congregation into the Sacred Liturgy. This is especially helpful when there are many non-Catholics attending the Nuptial Liturgy. Any music reprinted in worship programs must obtain the proper copyright permission in order not to be in violation of copyright laws.

All fees for musicians must be paid to St. Mary Roman Catholic Church at least two weeks prior to the Nuptial Liturgy. All checks should be made out to St. Mary Roman Catholic Church.

Decorations: In planning your flowers and decorations, care should be taken to respect the existing church environment. You may not remove or disturb altar cloths, candles, floral/liturgical arrangements, or change existing plants. We have a limited assortment of plant stands and pedestals available to hold your floral arrangements. You or your florist are welcome to see if they meet your needs. Floral arrangements that are part of the wedding celebrations are considered gifts to the parish and are to be left in the sanctuary* signifying to the congregation that a wedding has recently taken place.

Please leave the entire church building including the sanctuary* and basement as you found them. Courtesy demands that the boxes in which flowers arrived, covers for dresses, extra programs, etc. be collected and placed in wastebaskets in the basement of the church. Most likely, a friend or relative will be happy to take responsibility for gathering up personal belongings and tidying up for you.

Amount and Placement of Floral Arrangements: All floral arrangements and decorations are for the honor and glory of Almighty God. Care must be taken that the church building is not overly decorated with flowers and bows. It is appropriate to have 2-4 arrangements placed on either side of the tabernacle. An arrangement of flowers may be placed in front of the ambo (the reading stand). The front of the altar must be kept free from flowers so that they do not interfere with the movement of the priest. The placement of flowers is never allowed upon the altar of the Lord’s Sacrifice. It is appropriate to have an arrangement of flowers placed in front of the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Your florist may deliver and place flowers in the church the morning of the Nuptial Liturgy.(Note: The Sanctuary in a Roman Catholic church building is the raised area at the front of the church where the altar, ambo and tabernacle are located. The Sanctuary is considered to be the most sacred part or the holy of holies of the church building.)

Candelabra:Two candelabra are available for your use. There is a rental fee that includes the candles. However, no bows or flowers may be attached to them. Only the parish candelabra will be allowed to be used for your Nuptial Liturgy should you desire them.

Pew Candles:
Due to the potential hazard involved and for the safety of those attending your Nuptial Liturgy, we ask that no pew candles or candelabra be used.

Aisle Runner:
The aisle runner was used at a time when church buildings were not carpeted. They were used for the practical purpose of keeping the bridal gown clean. Because our church is carpeted the aisle runner is no longer necessary. The use of aisle runners is also strongly discouraged due to the liabilities attached to them. Aisle runners are an occasion for the people attending the Nuptial Liturgy to fall and injure themselves. Please discuss the matter with the pastor.

Unity Candle: The unity candle is not a part of the Roman Catholic Nuptial Liturgy. The focus, as much as possible, must be placed on the bride and the groom who are Sacramentally joined in the bond of Holy Matrimony. The Bride and Groom are the prime symbol of the ritual.

This being said, because of the strong cultural attachment to the unity candle, it will be allowed, with the following understanding: The unity candle is never allowed to be placed on the altar. The side candles of the unity candle will be lit prior to the service by the priest only.

Videotaping:
You are welcome to have your Nuptial Liturgy taped, using one camera. The camera is only allowed to be positioned in the back of the church, behind the last pew for the entire duration of the service. The person taping the liturgy must read the parish policy on photography. They must sign and abide by this policy.

Photographers:
One professional photographer is welcome to take pictures before, during and after the Nuptial Liturgy. Care must be taken so that the sacred character of the Nuptial Liturgy is not marred and that the church building is treated with the utmost reverence and respect. The professional photographer is asked to read and sign the parish policy on photography. In order to maintain the sacred character of the Liturgy we ask that you discourage the use of individual cameras during the Nuptial Liturgy. This can be simply done by printing this request in your worship program. Once again, we must do everything possible to maintain reverence and respect in the House of the Lord.

Miscellaneous:
To avoid any hazard to safety and to minimize custodial work, the throwing of rice, confetti, rose petals, or bird seed is not allowed on church property.

A Roman Catholic Church Building is consecrated and set aside for the praise and worship of Almighty God. The Blessed Sacrament is reserved in the tabernacle in the center of the sanctuary. Roman Catholics believe that Jesus Christ is really and truly present, body, blood, soul, and divinity in the Most Holy Eucharist. Because of this, you and your wedding party are asked to conduct yourself in away that is fitting to the presence of God. The following are asked to be observed when present in the church.
• No chewing of gum
• Men are not to wear hats
• No drinking of any kind of beverages on the premises
• No obscene or vulgar language
• Speak in a low quiet voice
• Keep voice to a minimum during photographs
• Refrain from whistling and yelling
• Modesty in dress
If the priest judges that someone is unable to make the commitment necessary for marriage because of the use of drugs or alcohol, the ceremony will not take place.

Wedding Coordinators & Stipends:
Every wedding held at St. Mary Church will have a wedding coordinator who will be present at the rehearsal and on your wedding day. They are there to assist you and your bridal party as well as the priest presiding at the Nuptial Liturgy. There is a stipend to be offered for the services of the parish wedding coordinator. The stipend should be paid to St. Mary Roman Catholic Church at least two weeks prior to the Nuptial Liturgy.

Gifts of Thanksgiving:
As with others in your wedding party, you may wish to give a gift to the priest and the altar servers who take part in your Nuptial Liturgy. It is not inappropriate to thank the priest with a gift. If altar servers are serving at your Nuptial Mass, a gift is appropriate. There is no fee for the use of the church if you are a registered parishioner.

The Final Word:
With all the documents and details it is easy to get bogged down, distracted, or even discouraged. We’re here to help! If there is anything that we can do, feel free to call. We rejoice in your decision to get married and want to support you in every way we can. May God richly bless your Marriage!

THE PARISH OFFICE HOURS ARE: Monday - Friday 9:00 am-noon. If you need access to the building at other times, e.g. for floral delivery or decorating, this must be arranged in advance with the Office.

Love is patient and kind;
Love is not jealous or boastful;
It is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way;
It is not irritable or resentful;
It does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things,
Believes all things,
Hopes all things,
Endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4)